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Duzen, Siezen, What-zen?
This whole business of having different forms of the personal pronoun ‘you’ is really confusing. Thanks a lot,
I mean, if there was a hard and fast rule that said exactly when and with whom you are supposed to duzen and siezen, that would be okay. But you never know! Sometimes, of course it is obvious. Young people, familiars, friends = du. Elder people, shopkeepers, superiors at work = sie. But sometimes the lines are a little blurred. For example, I heard about a mediator who was dealing with a dispute between a secretary and her boss. They had been working together for 20 years, but still called each other ‘Sie’ and Frau/Herred each other. So the mediator (an Englischer) jumps right in and makes them call each other Helga and Klaus. Awkward!
As an Englischer, I get it wrong all the time. I will ask a stranger if he ‘weisst’ where Wohlwillstrasse is, then get home and ask my flatmate “Sind Sie einkaufen gegangen?” To which the reply is always “Ja, meine gute Frau!”
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Heh. I feel your pain.
hehe I really had to laugh about that mediator thing where the English guy just made the two Germans call each other their first names, after 20 years. (And the names are funny as well, Helga and Klaus) But well, I, as a young German employer, do not know if to duzen or to siezen my colleagues, even though I am German. Lines are not blurred only in your eyes. Maybe, that helps you English guys. I just stick to siezen everybody, until they call me my firstname and use Du, then you should duzen them as well.
I think the lines are blurred, cause an easy rule is, that the older person has to duzen you first, before you are allowed to duz him or her. but you have to be careful with that rule, too, if your boss is younger than you are for example
I’m afraid its not always quite so simple to follow the rule, if they duzen you, you are allowed to do it back. I’m here in Germany as a teaching assistant at a Gymnasium and although I’ve already finished college, I still look like a highschool student (seriously, Germans acutally ID me for buying alcohol/DVD’s,etc!)…which means that people almost always use Du with me and that I am not always allowed to say it back because they think I am a teenager….then plus my Gymnasium doesn’t always follow the rules of Duzen/Siezen and it just gets really confusing (or people will use Sie when they first meet me but then like 2 days later without saying anything they switch to Du and I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it back
A funny thing happened the other day though – a librarian at the library started out using Du with me, then after she scanned my library card and saw my age, she switched to Sie and like completely apologized with sincere remorse for using Du…which to say the least was really wierd,
I dunno why understanding this could be a problem. It’s all about social standing. Society has a hierarchy, and Germans like hierarchy.
Among adults, use “Sie” for anyone who has not introduced her-/himself with her/his first name to you.
Golden rule: If someone starts saying “Du” to you, use it also for this person.
As for kids, start using “Sie” as soon as you’re in doubt whether the person in question is already an adult.
I have to add that such rules are less strict in Eastern Germany, due to socialist/egalitarian indoctrination. Some of these people do have a hard time in the west.
hey hey..
its really easy. just use the “sie” whenever you meet someone the first time or you are not sure what to use. “sie” is just more polite than “du”. if he or she doesn’t like it.. they will let you know that.
in a disco the “du” is the better choice.
if you are not sure just talk on a way you don’t need the “du” or “sie” and wait until your opponent say it to you. OR.. just ask. noone will kill you therefor.
greetings from germany.. (in the east you will find more “du”s than “sie”s.. they are friendlier =P )
haha, i just imagined using ‘Sie’ in a pick up line at the Disko (actually, ‘Disko’ ist not often used – too old fashioned); this would indeed be queer ^^
Siezen implies social distance, respect and politeness.
Duzen implies a familiarity of some kind, a relation more close.
so if some talking to you is switching from Siezen to Duzen he actually choosed to close the distance to you (to deepen the relation). this may be rudeness, because you are not polite to people you want to push in the face, but more likely they like you.