When I described this hellish travel itinerary to an English-speaker (not in Germany), I said I would be “soooooooo long unterwegs.” Not “on the go”. Not “in the air”. Not that I would be “travelling for a long time.” Unterwegs. The German word. It just slipped in there! Do you speakers of another language find that this happens from time to time? I sure do, it’s how Deutschlisch was born. Unterwegs is just such a great word, there’s no English one like it. I guess I’ll just have to start realising that when Englischers are staring at me blankly, it’s time to get translating!

A word you may not be familiar with is sitt, which is satt’s liquid equivalent, meaning one’s thirst has been quenched. Makes sense to me! Hungrig - satt, durstig - sitt.

Are you reading this, English language?

But meanwhile, the title phrase is taken from Deutsche Bahn. Whenever there is a breakdown or delay, the lovely lady over the loud speaker informs us that they request/ask for/plead for/beg for our understanding (”bitten um Ihr Verständnis”). Which got me thinking (in true Word Nerd fashion) about the verb ‘bitten’. Is there really an equivalent in English? Sure, you can literally translate it as ‘to request’, but it is a direct derivative of ‘Bitte’, meaning ‘please’. Does this indicate a level of politeness possessed by Germans which is simply unknown to the English-speaking world?

I come on to German finger puppets with these slick pick-up lines.

P.S. Frohe Ostern!

So I put in my two cents (or gave my mustard, as the Deutschies say) about German as a modular language.

But that was about verbs. Mmm, yes. Nouns (of the compound variety), in German, are a completely different (and somewhat maligned - by Englischers at least) phenomenon. Mark Twain wrote an essay called “The Awful German Language,” (take it easy, Mark!), and opined that “Some German words are so long that they have a perspective.” Clever chap.

Back in High School German class (big shout out to Mrs. R at Tauranga Girls’ College), we were taught that one of the longest words in German was Geschwindigskeitsbegrenzung (speed limit). But nooooooooo. There are -MUCH- longer.

The longest, and indeed, the most ridiculous, that I could find was Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft

That is 80 letters of sweet sweet German goodness. It was the name of a Viennese club before the war; literally translated: “association of subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services”. Although it seems like a bit of a stretch to me (could Germans possibly be capitalising on the modularity of their language? No way!), there exist many more. In fact, when the need for a new word arises, the Germans don’t invent one, they just bang two existing words together! Effizienz, much?

A prize awaits any reader (surely we must be up to at least six now) who can outdo 80 letters!

Could we thus, theoretically also say Auf Wiederschreiben in a letter? Or even (getting all technological on it) Auf Wiedertippen when chatting online?

Curiouser and curioser…

The chen has given us gifts such as Brötchen (bread roll - ‘little bread’) Entchen/Schweinchen/Hündchen (baby duck/pig/dog). But I have discovered that it can be liberally and successfully applied to all manner of words to funk them up a little: Have you tried a Bierchen, Kaffeechen, or my personal invention, the Vodkachen (great Feierabend drink, for recipe email me[at]miss-verstaendnis.com)?

And last but most cetainly not least “Tschüßchen!”(try saying it 10 times fast), as illustrated by the (in)famous YouTube video seeking emo friends (auf Deutsch!)

So, although I have enough emo friends, I wish you all a Tschüßchen - for now.

Ever felt like the deliciousness of something could not be described by the word ‘lecker’?

Well, now there’s an alternative from downunder which will really get the message across: “that was bloody lecker!” (and no, it doesn’t mean covered in blood.)

NB: Please do not take the offence. I only make the Spaß!

This whole business of having different forms of the personal pronoun ‘you’ is really confusing. Thanks a lot, Germany. Way to make your language even harder to learn.

I mean, if there was a hard and fast rule that said exactly when and with whom you are supposed to duzen and siezen, that would be okay. But you never know! Sometimes, of course it is obvious. Young people, familiars, friends = du. Elder people, shopkeepers, superiors at work = sie. But sometimes the lines are a little blurred. For example, I heard about a mediator who was dealing with a dispute between a secretary and her boss. They had been working together for 20 years, but still called each other ‘Sie’ and Frau/Herred each other. So the mediator (an Englischer) jumps right in and makes them call each other Helga and Klaus. Awkward!

As an Englischer, I get it wrong all the time. I will ask a stranger if he ‘weisst’ where Wohlwillstrasse is, then get home and ask my flatmate “Sind Sie einkaufen gegangen?” To which the reply is always “Ja, meine gute Frau!”

Miss V, in a follow-up to her prefixation, muses on the lack of convenient acronyms in the German language.